Misdirection
by Deadly Off Topic
Summary: Alistair and Elissa meet in an online world and the real world, but something isn't all that it seems.
1. Part 1 - The Game

(I started this project as something to play around in when I had free time. I had initially decided that it wasn't going to be that big and that I would not publish it until I had finished it. (Boy, was I surprised when I hit 40 pages and that I wasn't even close to finishing it yet.) That said, I started this project on July 31, 2012 and it's almost 2 years later...

(O.o)

I had actually come close to finishing this last year and then my computer refused to turn on and all hard work I spent writing and polishing it disappeared. Discouraged, I shelved the back up copies until I was ready to come back to it.

**Misdirection**

By Deadly Off Topic

**Part 1 - The Game**

"Oh wow, the clock reads _**only**_ 7:01. It's either _incredibly_ broken or I'm _incredibly_ bored out of my mind."

Alistair dropped onto his chair with a thump and a sigh as one hand idly tapped the armrest while the other rhythmically rubbed the brow of his nose with something akin to frustration. In front of him the monitor's lights flashed luminescent where a character creation screen, untouched in its pristine state, laid waiting to be utilized. "As it's unlikely that all the clocks in the house are wrong then I must be incredibly, oh so incredibly... BORED. I can't believe I let Zev talk me into playing this. What was I thinking? I could have gone to that Wine and Cheese tasting event that Leliana was hosting for the company, but oh no no no, "Play this," he says. "You owe me", he says. Blah. Save a guy's company from some hostile takeover and he thinks he owns you."

He leaned forward with a sigh. "And you... what the hell do I do with you? So many classes to pick from, so many races... and the colours and styles... who makes a game with so many choices?" He reached for his mouse- the little black spud with its faulty mid-wheel he'd been meaning to replace- and ran it over the options on the screen. "Bah, I'll just pick something. Random, random, random...yeah. I'll just sit in the game for a little before contacting him... chat for a bit and then I'll just log out. Hmm, yeah. Maybe I could even make it for some cheese tasting and sardines."

And at first that was exactly what Alistair did. He ran a few clicks over the options and ended up with a rather short, ugly looking little man whose idle animation would cough nastily and squint at him as if he had a lazy eye. It didn't help matters that the starting clothes for the disgusting little man made him stand out like a brightly coloured clown in the middle of a funeral procession. "Just hit return and do this...just hit return... spend a little time and be done with this."

But something held Alistair's hand, kept him from finalizing the monster he had created by a few careless strokes of the randomize luck jar. "I-I can't do it. This thing is... it's hideous. It's worse than mouldy old green cheese spread on fresh crackers. He'll know I wasn't trying. Beside this thing..." Alistair straightened slowly, his body stiffening with alarming realization that- "...is female? Oh wow, that's just sick. How do they expect people to want to play this. I know looks aren't everything and it's just about the stats, but...hmm, lets see how this looks on a mal- OH MAKER!"

In desperation to purge the image from his mind, Alistair nearly shut the screen off before realizing he could just as easily switch to another race model. "Dwarves should not - _should never!_ - protrude like that." Taking a deep breath to steadied himself, Alistair wondered if he should go back to being bored and to staring at the clock again since sleeping in his nice, comfy swivel chair was looking a lot more appealing than scarring his retinas. "Only 7:13? That didn't kill much time - just my eyes and not sure if I'll ever see out of my right eye again. Man. He's gonna owe me. I just know the rest of these are gonna be bad."

Massaging some feeling back into his temple, Alistair gingerly tried to move his mouse, but the damn thing skipped and jerked across the desktop as if it was trying to kill itself. Was it possible for inanimate objects, even an old, small mouse like this, to see the screen and get traumatized? Of course it was a stupid thought worthy of his intellect, but after seeing that thing who knew?

"Since I don't plan to play this after today I'm just gonna pick something nice and not ugly. I mean looks aren't everything, but they could sure help the dwarves... I wonder how they even get together if they look like-" Alistair paused as he realized he was thinking about how two game sprites could get it on. Suddenly cheese tasting in a setting surrounded by real people who could offer good company and no visual scarring whatsoever (unless it was a drunken Oghren from Accounting doing the limbo at last year's Christmas party) was looking a lot more appealing.

"No, no no. Just get this done. Do it quicker and maybe I can still attend... fashionably late mind you, but better than never at all."

With a trembling sigh, he cycled through the remaining races and with each rejection he wondered how Zev could even like this game. Ugly dwarves shaped in ways the human mind should never imagine and now over-evolved dodo birds with buck toothed teeth. Teeth on birds? Who the hell came up with this crap? He clicked again and again. And now fish people whose half-call to humanity meant having legs instead of a tail... these forms were just so... so... ew. There, he said it. Man, this was going down hill so fast. Only two races left, but he didn't hold out any real hope. "Oh lets see what sort of horror they've visited on these guys. I'm sure you can top the ugliness. I should get a pair of sunglasses and just be prepared for the glare."

But no, he was mildly surprised. "Well, there's a saving throw earned here. I can pick one of these, get a name in and be done with it all in 10 seconds flat." The humans looked suave, sophisticated and a bit... condescending. "Not sure I'd like having my nose stuck up in the air like that. But they sure are nice to look at though... and they definitely made the females quite attractive." He let out a whistle. Wouldn't that be a laugh. Showing up as a chick... Thinking about Zev suddenly, Alistair's whistle ended up with a cough and a choke. _No, definitely NOT. Don't want him getting the wrong idea...ever!_

As for the elves...

Alistair found himself staring at the screen, his eyes running appreciatively over the designs. Sure, the humans were sexy looking in their regal manner, but the elves were... just hot. Embarrassed to admit it, he felt his ears burn. He knew he should explain it away as the elves being graceful, tall and lithe figures, but the simple fact was that the elves had all the right proportions in all the right places.

Wow, compared to the fiasco with the other three races, this was an incredible step up. He cycled between both races for a good ten minutes, switching back and forth as he tried to picture which would be the best to sink the one hour he promised to play the game with Zev with. In the end it was the idle animations, not the stats, that made the choice for him.

While the male human bowed in a polite and respectful manner, the elf's motion was clearly romantic. He would glance off to the side, cock his head thoughtfully and smile as if he had seen someone he liked. "Or seeing a loved one," Alistair mused with first a chuckle and then a groan. "First I think about dwarves dating and now I'm thinking about elves blowing kisses."

It was 7:30 before he realized he was still choosing details on the elf he'd opted for. "Oh crap. How'd I lose 15 minutes? Man, I knew I just should have picked something. That's it, I'll just go with this and... oh no, no, that'll never do." He undid his selection and shook his head thoughtfully. "It has to match... otherwise dwarf fiasco all over again." He lost an additional five minutes before finally settling on his character's appearance. A tall, attractive elven male with navy blue hair and sparkling eyes to match. "There... finally. No wait, they want something MORE?! Why?" He squinted at the screen before puckering up his lips in frustration. "A class? Why'd... oh geeze. I don't know what any of these do."

Thankfully the class choices were a little bit more limited than the races. Only 4 to pick from. A bard, ninja, knight or priest. "A ninja elf? Well... okay, I could see that - not for me - but I could see it. Hmm, the best way to pick this is by simple mathematics. Iney miney miny moe."

Fifteen minutes later...

Alistair was looking at his elf and the shiny metal harp slung to his back and wondering if he didn't look a bit too flamboyantly happy. He wanted to add, it wasn't like he'd be playing it after tomorrow, but he felt strangely self-conscious about it in the here and now. "I will BE playing with Zev so it's not like he'll be hitting on me... often. Man, he better not think I owe him after this."

One hour and a half minutes later...

Leaning back in his chair, Alistair surveyed the extent of his domain that flashed across his LCD display. "Okay. Elf made, levelled up and done exploring the starting area. I can safely tell Zev: Yep, I played. It wasn't much, but I did it. Honestly though, if I ran around with a harp in real life, I think I'd end up breaking it over someone's head first. Probably my brother's."

Thinking about Cailin made Alistair groan with embarrassment. It was just shameful how Cailin continue to nearly ruin his father's business even five years after his death. If only Cailin hadn't been born the eldest... "Well, I say that," Alistair muttered as he got up and padded over to the small little fridge wedged in a corner of his room, "But I wish someone else was running this business and also getting the well earned credit for it. Not have it in someone's else name and they run it right into the ground, right past the underground rivers and directly into the hot molten earthen core beneath while I'm righting this flailing ship, getting it back onto the seas and then he cannons me from behind taking all the credit as if he was the awesome one. Sheesh."

He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head, "Bloody, bloody moron. Even when I'm making him look good - look _capable -_ he still tries to bankrupt us. Why, dear maker, did you not instill some common sense into him... give him the same drive for my dad's business that you gave me. I mean, practicality and know how should be inborn for him, he went to the best schools, had the best teachers and the best opportunities... the _proper mother._ Not like me, bastard child me. I wonder sometimes if dad's wife knew he had messed around on her... Don't think I'll ever know though... no one's around anymore." He seemed embarrassed for a moment and stopped to pull out the chain around his neck as if on instinct. His mother's pendant... the one - only - thing his mother had left him. "Sorry, mom. I didn't mean any disrespect. I know you did the best to raise me with the little you had."

Shoving it back into his shirt, he opened the mini fridge and took out a cold bottle of water which he twisted the cap slowly, thoughtfully. "It's not like you had the kind of money dad did and I guess I should be lucky that dad stepped up to the plate to claim me as part of the family." He rolled his shoulders and shook his head. "But you'd of thought he could have come in sooner... not let his _other _son falter through community college and shitty part time jobs before it was socially acceptable to say, 'hey all, this is my second son!'" Alistair couldn't help but feel a bit cheated and a little bit bitter about all the breaks his older brother got and squandered. Correction... breaks he continued to squander.

Who was it again that thought it was an exceptional idea to do skeet shooting on the roof of the company without any protective nets, reinforcements or otherwise?

Cailin.

Thinking about the fortune in replacing any shattered or cracked windows from neighbouring buildings alone just made Alistair cringe. If the company hadn't been so well-off, Cailin could have bankrupted them with just the lawsuits alone. Luckily Alistair had taken care of things and no one had gone lawyer-trigger happy even though their company profits took a big drop that year.

And if Alistair thought skeet-shooting had been bad enough, who could forget the time that Cailin thought it would be a 'fun thing' to land the company helicopter on the street heading for work. Aside from the startled passerbys and the concerned, well meaning policeman who happened to be passing that way at that exact, particular time, the street vendors had been up in arms, scrambling first for their scattered wares (who knew, sunglasses, jewellery and paintings could lodge into the company windows 5 floors up) and then with fists when they realized whose fault it was.

It was both a good and bad thing that the policeman had been there. At least someone was there to protect Cailin, but... "Did he have to give me a ticket for the illegal parking of the helicopter AS IF THAT WAS MY FAULT?! GAH!"

Bloody idiot!

And lets not forget the secretary Alistair had hired just 2 months ago. Who was it that thought it was just being a friendly gesture in taking Alistair assistant and banging her in the boardroom when Alistair had a super important meeting with some out of town big shots that same morning?

CAILIN! That good for nothing bast-

Cold water hit him in the mouth, pouring down his stubbled chin and onto his blue collar shirt. Damn it! He glared at the crumpled plastic bottle in his hand and cursed. "Calm down. This is not the time or the place to think about it. I promised to play this damn game and relax and that's not going to happen if I let these oh so fond memories from work bother me." Easier said then done, however.

Setting the damaged goods down, he jerked tissues from the box on the shelf and dabbed it at his face and clothes. "It's not like I even want the responsibility, but I can't stand to see dad's hard work go down the drain." And while his dad had not been there for most of his life - had come rather late into it -he had at least tried to make things right. He could have continued ignoring Alistair's existence - just introduced himself as the sperm donor and then moved on - but no. Perhaps his father had felt guilty and wanted to immerse Alistair into his business and the life that had been denied him. "Or you probably realized there was no hope for that assine jackass you call a son and thought you'd give a go on me."

He dropped into his chair with an oomph and swirled around to chuck the tissue into the little bin to his left. "If only you could see your legitimate son now... dad. You'd be so disappointed." Their dad was probably rolling around his grave.

Today's fiasco in the office had nearly devastated them and Alistair, furious and about to blow a gasket, had nearly punched his brother in the face. Which reminded him that the hole in his office wall was going to have to be repaired at some point though.

That stupid moron had almost sold them out to the Korcari/Cousland mego-conglomerate corporation simply because they had a lot of pretty faces and legs that wouldn't cross. If Zev hadn't done some quick negotiations with the vice-president of that damned corporation... both Cailin and him would have been kicked onto the curb with being out of a job just the least of their worries. Leave it to good old dad to leave the shares in both their names. At least Alistair had Zev looking out for his half of the business... although to be fair, Alistair wondered if it had more to do with trying to keep his job in this prestigious firm than having to go look for another job where his flexible hours and the ability to flounce himself among the eligible ladies and gents would be harder to do.

Thinking about Zev's practice to flirt with anyone and anything, Alistair found himself turning back to his screen where his pretty looking elf was. The pixels which resolved themselves into a rather attractive young man wearing a tribal kilt and silver chains over his bare chest was idly waving to the air again. "I probably should have made the dwarf, now that I think about it."

Ping.

"Huh, what's that...oh, an instant message, right." He'd played games in college like this before so the best bet was to figure out which key was the reply key. Could be T or R or could be something stupid like H. After all this was a game made by people who had made those dwarves.

_Hey, Alistair, glad to see you could make it. It's me Zev. Press H for instant reply if you don't already know. :)_

Figures.

_Zev? How'd you know it was me?_

_Come on, you're playing an elf-_

_Zev-_

_Plus you told me you'd name it _Nirieht _even thought I told you not to, silly man. Someone's gonna read that in reverse one day... -_-+++ So, are you interested in doing your first instance? _

Alistair blinked at his screen before he let his eyes run over the words a second time. Wasn't any clearer then either. _My first what?_

_You totally don't have to worry about getting killed and whatever, I have a group of friends, we'll totally run you through. So what do you say?_

Alistair was close to just shutting down the whole computer by its reset button before he took a breath to calm himself down. " Let me ask first what the hell he's going on about - don't over react, you'll be as bad as Oghren when he's had a few too many." So he typed: _Run me through? Killed...or something else? What sort of game is this?_

_Oh Alistair, you're so naive. Now, you did download Brag© right? Will be a lot easier than typing every two seconds. Here, I'll patch you with the log-in info and everything, just get it loaded up AND plug in your headset. You're gonna love this._

About 12 minutes later...

"Oh I see, we can communicate through the computer." He was leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on his desk, casually chatting to Zevran as if he was on the phone at work. "Like a tele-conference without the phone set. You're right, this is easier." So okay, this part wasn't so bad. At least he could pass the time in conversation. Sure it was missing the fine touch a bit of cheese and what good old fashion wine could bring, but at least he had kept his promise.

"Well, yeah, except you can get more people in here. Speaking of that, I'm gonna start inviting my friends in. You'll get use to them and their quirks. Best people out there you know."

_Might as well humour him_, Alistair thought with a shrug. _I'll meet these so called friends today... names I'll probably forget tomorrow as it's all a one time thing, remember. Just keep thinking that and it'll be over soon enough._

"Okay, is this on? Hello there?" A kind, matronly voice spoke; the kind of voice Alistair always associated with the absent mother figure he'd lost in childhood. He instantly liked her already. "Give this old one a few moments to get used to the confounded program. Brag© is such a pain at times, it's not as good as _GroupTalk_© . Ah there... So, A4Assassin said you're one of his friends . Any friend of his is a friend of mine. I'm HeavenlyTea. Nice to meet you."

"Hey there. This is Nirieht. " Polite and respectful back, Alistair just rolled his eyes to the ceiling. A4Assassin? Zevran! Bloody full of himself! And he thought Alistair's name had been bad?! He glanced at the screen where their own chat still hovered and caught himself from breathing a sigh of disbelief. Oh yes, there it was. A4Assassin.

"Young man, you should get your feet off that desk!"

"Huh whaaa?!" Jumping down, startled to say the least, Alistair was still in the middle of babbling an apology only to hear her warm laughter echoing back.

"Well, what do you know, I guessed right."

With a hand on his chest, his heart racing from the initial fright, Alistair gasped. Just who in the world was that old woman? "You mean you didn't know?"

HeavenlyTea chuckled. "Of course not, I just figured from your tone you were the kind of guy to do that... so I just thought I'd have a little fun. You can't fault a little old lady, right?"

The added chuckle made Alistair's face go beat red. "Yeah well..."

"I can't believe-"

"Oh damn. Incoming." Alistair barely heard Zev's warning as the newcomer threw herself into the conversation with a jarring and alarming flood of rudeness. It was like 100 years of crass, cold filtered meanness coalescing into 5 minutes of hell.

"-I have to be here to help run your crappy little friend through this stupid little instance. I have much better things to do with my time, thank you." If he didn't know better, Alistair would have assumed that the snooty and self-righteous voice belonged to the vicious woman at the takeover meeting. He was already typing to Zev when the incoming ping said:

_Sounds like that bitch from this morning eh. Small world._

_Tell me about it. _It was like he was at that damned takeover meeting all over again. Listening to that snake of a woman as she jabbed her pen against her clip board, over and over again, pointing out shortcomings and failings with respect to him, his company, his business ethics... and more importantly, because it was worth saying it twice, him. Freaking lawyers.

Even now Alistair found himself squirming in his seat, actually wincing as this woman blathered on. Some legal representative... more like judge, jury and executioner... At least Zev was here, like he was this morning. He'd make sure that the oil oozing from this woman's voice stayed with that voice and didn't leave stains. Though that begged the quest of why did Zevran had bothered to invite her knowing how much her nasty voice would remind him of that horrible bitch.

_Just breathe, Alistair. One time thing. You can easily disconnect now and never turn back._

"Oh come now QueenSpyder. Don't be so mean." The new voice drew Alistair to the alert so suddenly that his fingers drew away from the off button with a snap. Whoa, whoa, who was this? Unlike the matronly voice of HealingTea and the sarcastic and rude one of this QueenSpyder - aptly named no doubt - this new voice was completely different. "This is Zevran's little friend who he's been trying for ages to play this game with. Be a little nice. If you keep this up, he might not want to play with us anymore."

"Ohhhhh. Big lost there."

"Come now. It's only for a little bit. Then we can get back to farming Big Goliath for your rare cherry wood drop later. I promise."

"Fine, fine, BUT remember you promised. Only for a little bit."

He hadn't expected to hear such a friendly, confident and lets face it, sexy voice like hers. Especially with such a genuine warmth in it that it instantly put Alistair at ease. He dropped his face into his hands and almost sighed into his head phones. He couldn't help it, she had the kind of voice that you listened to. If she had walked into that office meeting instead of that insidious bitch this morning and demanded a merger between his company and hers... he would have listened...a lot.

And there had to be something said when even that rude QueenSpyder listened without complaint - without insult- to this new voice.

There was a ping on his screen and he found himself blinking. This wasn't from Zev at all, but from someone called TankingQueen? What the hell? Zev never warned him that other players could page him. Not, that Alistair realized with a bit of chagrin, that he shouldn't have realized that it was impossible, but who else knew his name?

The line read as: _Hey, don't worry about QS. She's more bite than she is sting. :) We've been farming for her drop for 2 weeks, so she's a bit depressed that it hasn't drop. Damn rng...what's one more day, eh? _

Alistair had no trouble typing a quick reply back. _I'm not worried at all. I'm new to all this._ Could the person paging be-

"Hey Ali-I mean Nirieht," and though Zevran quickly caught himself, it didn't stop him from laughing at his near slip up. "I'd like you to meet TankingQueen. She's our leader and goto person when we need a meat shield."

"Oh, hi. It's nice to meet you." _Oh hi? Could I not say anything more friendly or dashing... I sound like a kid hitting puberty._ "What's a meat shield?" _Gah!_

Aside from the general laughter and QueenSpyder spitting out the word _idiot_, the reply TankingQueen gave glittered with amusement. "It just means that I take damage for the party so they don't have to. You could say I'm its protector? Someone who wards them from danger..." At least if she thought he was an idiot, she was polite enough to not treat him as one.

"TQ plays a human warrior class called The Warden. She's awesome at what she does. But speaking of protectors... Me and Nirieht work at the same place. So if I'm not on it's probably because I'm saving his sorry butt at work." Zev's laugh was echoed by TankingQueen and HealingTea. "The things I have to do for this boy... But I do get paid well for great services. Heh."

Running his hand over his face and tangling his fingers into this headset as he did so, Alistair groaned at the joking done at his expense. "Hey, I'm not all that useless. I can make an excellent cheese casserole when I set my mind to it."

"Really?" It was TankingQueen who whistled. "A man who can cook? Now that makes me curious. Can you make anything else other than casseroles?"

"Well, of course. If it can be cooked, grilled, fricasseed, stewed and chopped up I can do it. I am called the King of the Kitchen-" No, he wasn't! What the hell was he saying? Flustered and red in the face he was thankful that he'd managed to keep his voice all boastful and brave. If she could only see him now, all butterflies and ready to throw up, what would she even think?

Rich with amusement and heavy with something else, Alistair couldn't help but lean forward as TankingQueen spoke again. She had the sort of the voice you could melt for. "Oh really? I'd like to see that. Maybe you could cook for-"

"Oh trust me, you don't. I know his kind. All bravado, but very little in the delivery department." Alistair could seriously see QueenSpyder taking a nice shove into an oncoming train. What was her problem with him anyway? Why did she had to interrupt everything with such crass and constant put downs. What did he ever do to her? "If you're really looking for someone's services, I could definitely recommend something more suitable to your pedigree."

"Hey guys, before you go there. Let me say something to Nirieht." there was a bit of a dramatic pause here from Zevran, making Alistair wonder what the hell Zev was doing.

"Yeah?"

"Nirieht, you like my services right. Enough to recommend me to our lady friends here." Dead zinger delivered cold and for a brief moment there was dead air time and then-

"Huh? Wait what?" The rail of conversation was spinning itself into a scintillation of directions and this latest direction mirrored off by Zevran grab for attention was so far the worse one. "What did I walk into here?" The nervousness in his voice brought on more laughter sans QueenSpyder who was probably rolling her eyes at him right now.

"I think your poor friend's been put through enough with us, Z. We should get him into the instance so that we can show off what we can do." TankingQueen's voice still had trails of laughter to it, but Alistair wasn't sure he minded her laughing. He didn't know how to explain it to himself, but when she laughed he didn't feel that it was necessarily at him, but with him. "You up for it Nirieht?"

"Me, oh yeah... I'm good ... good ...to go..." He scrambled to click the flashing message that popped on the screen and swallowed nervously. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Part 2 - The Office

**PART 2 - THE OFFICE**

by Deadly Off Topic

"This blows." He rubbed his tired face and wondered how long he had been asleep at his work desk. He'd only shut his eyes for two minutes - to rest them - and the next thing he knew he was surrounded by falling paper. Damn bloody crowded to the gills desk. It wasn't fair. No one should have mountain loads of files crammed with paper that would fall at the drop of a hat should someone be in need of a quick nap and fall asleep at his desk.

He made a half-assed effort to stack what had fallen on him using pencils and rulers to act as dividers and quite possibly reminders that maybe this page 69 didn't go between page 272 and 273. "I can fix that later when I'm more awake, but right now...ugh. I need a coffee." Alistair rubbed the sleep from his eyes, hoping that he could wake up by that simple action alone, but nope, still too tired...too sleepy. "I bet someone with an actual assistant doesn't have to put up with this. I should ask someone how that feels because I sure as hell don't know."

Grumbling to himself, he sat back in his plush mahogany chair and surveyed the room with a growing note of trepidation. The paper pile up with its valleys, rivers and mountains situation was even worse than he wanted to admit. All it would take was one misplaced shove and BAM, earthquake central. He had loads of folders, books and, yes again, more paper stacked in piles all over any and all free surfaces in his office. It was a good thing he didn't smoke, one free spark and the whole place would go.

He needed to do something about it, but... Right now he couldn't tell what that was and he didn't really care. He'd stayed up a bit too late last night, again. It was something he knew full well he shouldn't have done, but... he was having fun for once in his sorry life. Who knew that an elf bard could be so much fun?

Although to be absolutely fair and if he wanted to admit the truth, it probably had something more to do with Tanking Queen's human warden spending time with his elven bard. If he was going to be even a little bit more truthful, he'd even admit that he'd been spending the last month and a half rushing home from work to spend every second of free time with her. He'd stop caring about Spyder Queen's death threats and while she still continued to insult and berate him and failing that would often hunt him down and kill his bard when he ventured into any "unsafe" areas, things were otherwise okay. Alistair only had to remind himself smugly that the woman was jealous. Even HealingTea had told him it was because he was monopolizing Tanking Queen's time and leaving little or nothing for her condescending little friend.

"I'm the better choice for her spending time with and that's all there is to it."

Oh man. ...talking to her, though... A goofy smile spread across his lips as he remembered her silky, warm voice. It was so easy to just lose track of all time when he was with her. He'd never met anyone who simply understood him... who complemented him so well. Almost as if they'd grown up together. And it wasn't just that she loved cheese - though a big plus in his books - she loved reading books, manga and comics as well as playing computer games. Although it didn't just end there, TankingQueen had confessed that she took courses in Japanese in order to better understand some of the things said in the manga she read and games she played. She wasn't sure she was going to get a better experience out of it, but figured if someone messed up on wording... at least she could be in the group of people who would realize it.

He was even surprised to find out that aside from all those inside activities, she also did a lot of outer ones like hiking, taking art courses, star gazing and martial arts. It had been really amazing to find out that they'd both been in Sensei Norusu's class at one point in their lives - the well-known Martial Arts Master that everyone saw on tv. Just thinking about it made him wonder if what if he had met her... but with a voice like hers, he would have thought he'd remembered someone like that.

Thinking back to those classes, he definitely would have remember a voice like hers if he had heard it. At least he thought so. Still... "I think I should re-enroll. I've let it sit for too long. Won't hurt any.." And of course that had nothing to do with the fact that she was currently taking classes with the sensei. "I wonder what she looks like..." Oddly though... did he really care? He wasn't such a fine catch, he knew that given his terrible track record in both highschool and college... so it would be really silly to put some invisible standards on her.

No, he thought with some conviction, I don't care what she looks like. She could be overweight, be short, bucktooth, gangly or worse, but who cares. Alistair knew he could trust and talk to her about anything and not expect hideous laughter to ring in his ears. No one had treated him with the kind of respect she did and that was all that mattered to him. "I sound so old-fashion. They sure broke the mould when they made me."

He gave himself a self-depreciating chuckle just as the knock on the door landed. Almost in a panic, he ran a hand through his short hair to organize the dirty blond-brown mess into some semblance of order. "Yes?" At least his grey suit was smooth and polished, too bad the same couldn't be said for the rumpled, disordered owner.

"Hey Alistair. Great session last night. Gotta say, you've improved so much over the last couple of weeks. Great raid last night, by the way." How the hell did Zev look so wide awake and energetic? Dressed in a trendy brown suit with suspenders holding back his creamy beige shirt and flamboyant lava themed tie, his friend was bright-eyed and bushy tailed. How did he look so well despite going to bed only an hour before he did. What did that make it, 3 hours? Redbull? Monster? Starbuck double shot frappucino? It might be worth looking into.

Releasing his hold on an errant pile of paper and breathing a sigh of relief that it hadn't fallen over, Alistair raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Thanks for letting me join Brag©) to listen in. Nice to know what I may be getting myself into next week." He was still a bit worried about joining his first "raid" party, but Elissa had flat out told him he was more than ready for it and had been taking him to 5 man parties to quickly 'gear' him up once he had hit max level last week.

_Elissa. _

She'd given him her name last night and it had surprised him He wasn't nearly so embarrassed of falling on his face now that he had something more permanent to hold onto.

Zev ran his fingers over the cord for the blinds and swung them open with only a token warning afterwards. "Okay, these should be open."

Alistair groaned. He wasn't sure what blinded him more, the sunlight or the glare off Zevran's lava-themed tie. Seriously, flannel should not shine so brightly. "Oh come on, I just wanted a little shade - what...hey, watch it! You're gonna cause an avalanche here!"

With a flick of his wrist, Zevran slammed and slid a pack of photographs onto the one clear spot on Alistair's desk where his friend had been resting his head only moments earlier. "Bah, what's one little snowstorm when compared to _her."_

"Who is this?" Alistair was staring at the portrait of a smiling young lady with long brown hair and eyes the colour of a wind-swept storm at sea. She was... well to be cliche, she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. "Model? New idol singer? Upcoming actress? Hey, help me out. I'm never up on these as you are. Is this your wish for a new girl friend?"

"Heh, I wish." Smug and grinning like a kid who didn't care that he had been caught in the cookie jar, Zevran laughed. The bright white of his teeth sparkled in the sunlight as he turned dramatically. "That, my friend, is Tanking Queen."

Yeah right, was the first thing he wanted to say, but the words, "Are you fucking kidding me? But she's beautiful," escaped his muddled senses instead. _And she stays home to play games, read books and watch anime? A girl like that could be out on the town any night and have any guy she wanted. ...any day or time of the week... or hour._

He couldn't help but trace over the warm smile and intensive look in her eyes before checking out the rest of her ample and curvaceous assets peeking out from the black v-shaped top she wore. _I'm totally staring and Zev knows I'm totally staring. He knows and he did this on purpose. I need to stop looking._

So instead he flipped through more pictures._ Damn it._

As he looked at the other pictures, he was a bit startled that from all the smiling, warm pictures of her there was one in there with a side profile view where she looked subdued, almost ominous. Did Zevran mean to include this? More importantly... "...wait a second." His swivel chair turned slowly as Alistair faced Zevran with suspicion eyes. His friend had the decency to be looking elsewhere. "Where did you get these?"

Zevran held out a hand as if to examine imaginary dust on his nails - manicured, pretty nails. Where did he find the time to groom himself, go out on dates, play online games and more importantly do his work?! "Answer me this question first. You still need an assistant?"

They both knew that his last assistant - secretary, really- had quit to work under Cailin. _In more ways than one._ It was a sour, dirty thought which made Alistair grimace. If he had control of the situation he would have fired both the woman and his brother given the boardroom incident, but - ugh. With a sigh he glanced over to the hole in the wall and shrugged. "Okay, I'll bite. Yes. Why?"

"What if I said that TQ needed a job?" Coy, suave, Zev left that hanging as he looked across the office at the bookshelves cluttered with over-hanging files and papers stacked in ways only the gods could conceive and still keep standing. It had been a simple obstacle course for his friend to enter the room, open the window and not knock anything over in the little time he'd been there. The little breeze that ruffled the papers closer to the desk made Alistair a little nervous.

"She...needs a job?" He sounded incredulous. This was the first he'd heard about it. Why hadn't she said anything to him about it to him?!

"Yeah. You know, it's not like you could turn away help, you had 5 temp ladies - 6 if you counted that cute guy in the cotton shirt- come in and try out the position. Each and everyone of them quit after meeting you, though."

"Oh not this again." Alistair knew he sounded a little too excited for his own good, but he couldn't help himself. He really didn't like where the conversation was going. "To be fair to me, they quit after finding out they had to do work... If you want to be paid, you need to do the work,_ you know that_." He had to say the last as if trying to stress home the importance of productivity to a guy who spent more time playing their online game than he did. And lets face it, this was Zevran, which day of the week wasn't he playing around on?!

He crossed his arms and leaned back to look at the room. "Considering how you let it all stack up in here I think anyone would freak out when they flush the toilet and paper comes out."

"HEY! That only happened once-"

Zevran rolled his eyes at him, but said nothing. He didn't need to. They'd both been there when the paper incident had happened.

"Oh come on. That's not fair. It could have happened to anyone... Hey, wait a minute..." Out of thin air, the events of the last couple of weeks suddenly slammed into each other with righteous epiphany. "So that's why you wanted me to "try" out this game. You know I expect underhanded from Loghain, but not you." Inwardly Alistair still wondered where Zev had gotten the pictures and more importantly WHY DID HE HAVE THEM!?

He did get the satisfaction of watching Zev's golden eyes widen in surprise. "I thought you knew I could be a little devious... don't know if I'm more hurt than surprised though." Zevran placed a hand on his chest feigning pain. When his suit crinkled a little he eased up. "Seriously though, we weren't sure if her personality would clash with yours... if she was someone you might be happy to have around or not. You can't blame a guy for looking out for an _old _friend right?"

He didn't quite like the turn of the word there, but Alistair did see the point Zevran was trying to make even if he didn't like the constant harkening back to the lack of assistant. After all, it wasn't just the paper issue that was a problem... there was still the matter of his lecherous older brother. Bah, TQ would hate him. He was sure of it...right? "The game was a trial run, then?"

Zevran nodded. His eyes alight with mischief. "You will be happy to know that you passed and-"

"-oh goody-"

"...and that," he pressed on as if not interrupted, "if you're still looking for an assistant, she is still looking for a job. That is if you don't mind your raid leader working under you."

Alistair ran a hand through his hair and cocked his head thoughtfully to the side. "All this for a job..." He felt... was it agitated, upset... angry? No, not exactly that. Annoyed, maybe? As in why couldn't she had mentioned that she needed a job? Why did it have to go in this runabout way? Or the other niggling thought which he really didn't want to give rise to... was her kindness only out of a need to be employed? No, she wouldn't be that kind of person, right? Right?!

"Well, no...not exactly. We do need a healer and she tells me you're getting better than Healing Tea though I think she's a bit bias there given how much time she spends with you." Was that...jealousy there? Alistair thought Zev's words were a little tight, sour even. But it was gone in mere moments. "Anyway, this works out for us. Half the raid party works here, we all leave at the same time and then get on to play..."

"Always efficient-"

"You know me, well." The smile on Zev's dark tanned face didn't make him feel any better. It was too mischievous for its own good. And it didn't help matters that Alistair was still bothered by the whole job angle on what he thought was going to be a close friendship with Tanking Queen. "To tell you the truth, I really didn't expect the two of you to hit it off so well. I've played tons of mmorpgs with TQ over the years, but you're the first person she's ever really thought well of in a long time."

"You say it like you know her... I mean in real life-" Why did he suddenly feel sick to his stomach? Almost as if he was on a boat rocking to the treacherous waves of the sea on the verge of capsizing.

"I went to school with her and her brother... I probably lived at their house for the entire time of my childhood. As you know, I didn't really get on well with my parents..." There must have been a ghostly look to Alistair's face because Zevran laughed and added, "Yeah, I bet her parents thought they had adopted a third child considering how often I was over." But Alistair was in another world.

Zevran had seen her - actually seen and talked to her face to face for longer than he had or could ever have. He'd _grown_ up with her! Egads! What did he have to compare? One month and a half of computer time... was that even real? They were friends or was he fooling himself if he thought he could ever be as good or close a friend as Zevran was. This would also explain where he'd gotten the pictures then. "If I didn't really know better, I'd say you really got it bad for her, don't you."

"What? Don't be ridiculous. I haven't known her a long time - I just-" Stammering like a bloody moron, Alistair felt hollow, empty as if someone had just flushed his hopes and dreams down the toilet. So many damn variables crushing down on him. There was no way to fix this situation.

"Look Alistair, she needs a job, you need an assistant. And you like her or you would be going to bed on time." He gestured towards the pictures on Alistair's desk. "Just try her out." The word play was intentional, but Alistair didn't have the heart to fight back. He just stared down at the pictures. He felt as lonely and isolated as the picture where TQ looked distant. "She's a hard worker. She's bright, clever and doesn't take shit. And despite the number of times I've asked her out, she's always said no so take some heart there."

That caught his attention. He couldn't keep the hope out of his voice. "You've never dated...ever?"

The look on Zevran's face surprised him. There was something there, something genuine in the way he glanced at his feet and then looked back at the blinds he had opened. "Believe me it's not for lack of trying. Must be the goofy, silly innocent school boy routine that has her interested in you." He smiled at his friend, showing teeth. "Some virgins get all the luck."

"Some vir- oh shut up about that," Alistair's fingers tensed on the pictures as he rose to his feet. Leave it to good old Zev to bring up such a touchy subject. Just because he hadn't found the right person yet didn't mean he was going to just throw himself away. Besides, Cailin did enough skirt chasing, for the entire family and then some. "What does that make you then, a man whor-"

"You can say it, I don't mind. It's not like it's not true." Zev knew exactly how to drain the fun out of a person. It didn't help that he was still smiling that smug grin of his. The man sometimes reminded him of a ferret. Small, quick and filled with cunning.

"Well... damn." Alistair had his hands on his hips as he looked about the room though he wasn't really looking. Too many inner thoughts were suddenly scrambling for attention. _You obviously like her too, so why? Why are you doing this? Why give me the first chance?_

Zevran hooked his fingers into his pockets and cocked his head to the side. "So, you'll see her? Let her work here?"

Alistair returned to his seat, the pictures bending in his hands as he did so - a reminder that he just scooped them up. He let out a sigh and looked down at them. Try as he might he couldn't stop returning to the one where she looked so sad, so forlorn... alone. Even if it was for a job, he was pretty sure that their conversations - all of them - had been honest. Besides, if it was all about the job, he'd find out soon enough anyway. Resolved, he said, "I'll see her for an interview. When do you think-"

Zevran clapped all at once, his hands making such a loud noise that it had startled both Alistair and the stack beside him so that the poor man had to leap up and grab it to stop it from tipping over. "That's great! She'd down in human resources right now speaking with Tegan. She'll be so happy to hear this good news."

It was like the world exploded. He was sure Zevran hadn't heard that internal combustion, but it was booming in Alistair's ears as he bolted up, knocking over that stack anyway. The shower of paper was virtually ignored. "WHAT?!"

Zevran waved innocent hands. "I invited her over for lunch, told her to bring her resume and to speak with Human Resources here." He looked at his watch and smiled brightly. "Probably done now, so I'm sure he'll be sending her over to you shortly."

"Are you kidding me?" He must look like a mess! He needed to find a comb and some cologne - oh god, why couldn't he wear a suit that wasn't this shade of gray? _I must look like I just rose from the dead._ Gah! "This office is a mess."

Zev was nodding as he looked at the mess. "Figured, I'd give you a chance since you desperately need an assistant before this deathtrap kills someone. But if you don't want her, I definitely could use her working under me. Especially for the long nights where I have to do overtime and a warm body wouldn't go amiss."

For one split second Alistair got the mental picture Zevran definitely wanted him to get. _EW! EW! So that's the plan eh? _The girl you chase after, who won't date you, you figure you can have her work with you so that you have a better chance at her? Has nothing to do with me at all then... Again the question was why? If it was Alistair, he'd definitely not want to open the playing field to allow new players. So why did-

It was the lack of shadow that alerted Alistair that someone was missing. "Hey, where are you going?"

His friend was already at the door when the question hit him. "I'm not an idiot, I'm going to my office to tidy up a bit." His obvious glance at Alistair's office said _There's no way you'll have a chance with her with your desk like that. You're on your own in this. _He tipped his head as if bowing in challenge. "You can keep the pictures. I have the proofs."

"Thanks a lot, Zev. Thanks a lot." Bitter, but resolved despite the knowledge that he was doomed, he did the only thing he could do. Alistair started to organize his desk.


	3. Part 3 - The Interview

**PART 3 - THE SO CALLED INTERVIEW**

"Bloody hands. Stop shaking so much." But that was easier said then done, his whole body was a mass of jittery nerves. She was in the building... she was going to see him shortly... and OH DEAR GOD! He still had the pictures in his hands. What was he going to do with them?!

_For all I know they were taken years ago and are probably no big deal or_, his other voice of reason droll on warily, _they could be recent pictures and she might take offense for me having them_. _Put them away - like now._ _Last thing you need is to have to explain where you got them from. Hello, I'm Alistair, pleased be assured I'm no psycho stalker... these pictures? Oh would you believe I got them from Zev? He's the real stalker... that you've known since you were a kid..._ Yeah, right, that would never work.

So he did the next best thing, he opened the one desk drawer he could never close because it was jammed with - oh gosh -more paper, and shoved the photos in.

There had been no warnings just _hey, she needs a job, you need an assistant, but I really want her for myself _kind of be told, he had never been on the receiving end of Zev's schemes... at least on the bad end of the schemes. Sure the man could protect the company from Cailin's faulty dealings, but he had never done his damnest to take something from Alistair that he wanted for himself. _And I do... I do want her. _Alistair ran a hand nervously through his hair as the realization struck him. He was never the kind of guy to go after the same girl that a friend wanted, but TQ...there was just something about her that screamed _I'm yours, I'm for you only_. Crazy thoughts, he knew that much, but it didn't change the butterflies doing leaps in his belly.

He wondered if Zev would have still introduced him to TQ if he had known how much Alistair's interest would have been perked. Who knew? Alistair was pretty sure that Zev hadn't actually meant to let on that Elissa was interested in him. That thought floored him. She was interested, wasn't she. That would be why Zevran had done all this... _Wow._ _Zev's worried that I might actually have a chance where he didn't. A guy like that not having a chance with a woman like her? And he thinks I do..._

"I wonder if I can open this window and dump everything out so that my office will look cleaner than his?" It was crazy talk; he knew it, but he was panicking. Most of this stuff was important and if he lost it...oh boy, if he lost it would be like cutting off an arm in shark infested waters and not expecting those sharks to follow the scent of blood to the bigger meal.

"Maybe I can just say a tree fell into my office and a lumberjack got excited. Oh man, who am I kidding? It fell over, made a home and is doing business here." He was just going to have to resolved himself to his fate. "I know, I know! I'll tell her a tornado touched down and it was only my room it hit."

"Or you could tell me some beavers were building a dam in here."

"No, I don't think so. She's smarter than I am, I don't think she'd even believe the tor-na- do...oh damn." He was standing in the middle of the room, looking at the open window as if contemplating if he could toss himself out on the first go. "Ah, yeah... ah... I can totally explain."

"Oh really? I'd like to hear that." She sounded amused and he wondered if that was a good sign? Dare he take it as such? He was shaking so much that he had to grip his hands to calm down. "And Nir, maybe you could do that while looking me in the face or should I be saying Mr. Alistair Theirin?"

"Yeah, sorry. I really should be facing you, right?" He had to pick his mouth up from off the floor and jam it back into place when he turned to face her. Those pictures just didn't do her justice. She was dressed in a smart white blouse with a black sophisticated jacket and a short, tight skirt. And about that blouse, and this was embarrassing because he knew it was the man in him that noticed, it was tight around her breasts. With some force he lifted his gaze to her other eyes, the important sea-green ones. _She is so going to kick my ass for staring._

"Yes, my eyes are up here. That is so much better." She wore a bright smile on those perfect lips. Lips he noticed that were not frowning or sneering or even condescending given where his eyes had been earlier. She was as openly friendly in person as she was on Brag ©. "It's good to finally meet you in person."

"Good to meet you too." Alistair returned the smile with a nervous chuckle as he ran fingers through his hair before sticking his hand out suddenly. Hand shake, don't forget the handshake!

He was surprise to find that her fingers weren't fragile, soft things dipped in cream. They were sturdy, firm and there was obvious strength there. _Sensei Norusu's class, remember. _She must go often. "I gave my resume to Tegan. I like him. Nice man with a good head on his shoulders. I see that Zevran forgot to mention how... full your office was."

Truth be told, the pictures did NOT compare to how stunningly gorgeous she was in person. If he thought she radiated confidence and warmth with her voice alone, seeing her in person just walloped the senses. She had the right shape and form and the way the fabric stretched around her arms and hips had him imagining a firm and well-toned body. Not to mention it led to other thoughts he shouldn't be having, especially in the crowded mess of his office. Of course, that's when he realized she'd stop talking and was waiting for a reply. _Oh god, am I an idiot or what. _He tried to say_, "_I've had my secretary quit,", but all that came out was "I-" before the avalanche hit and the entire mess of papers became an entire explosion of white.

"Oh damn it! I'm so sorry!" he managed to blurt out as he scrambled around trying to catch and shove the ungrateful sheets back into place without much luck. She was beside him in moments, callus, well worn fingers reaching down to gather up the errant sheets. He was grateful for the help.

"Yeah," he resigned himself to what he realized was now going to be his failed attempt with her, "My assistant/secretary quit and this is my terrible, terrible office. Sorry about all this... but I really and honestly suck at paper work, which explains why I've had 6 people quit on me alone." He ran a hand through his brown-blond hair and let out a sigh. Really? Am I sobbing out my life story here? Too bad I don't have a bit where my pet got run over by a car. "I've been told I should just burn the office and walk away with the losses, but-"

"It's not so bad. You just need someone to help and who won't give up on you." She was organizing the sheets as she picked them up, something he hadn't realized she was doing until he glanced over at her. "You really shouldn't feel bad about this, I've done this for worse people than you." Her voice was so warm, so friendly that it calmed him. Let him lower his guard. He almost felt as if they were on Brag© simply chatting the night away.

"Worse? As if that's even possible." He picked up an empty folder, who knew where the contents were now? Which was to say, somewhere all over the ground. "Who could be worse than me?"

"My dad for one. My mom is forever keeping him organized. You could kind of say I learned from her." The bittersweet smile on her face was there only a moment before the warm one returned. Just what had that been about? "Anyway, I could help you if you want?"

"Why not run away, everyone else does?" He hadn't meant to sound so despondent, but the desk exploding like it did, spitting up papers as if it was Mount Vesuvius, had just killed his shot with her.

"Do I look like I run away from fights?" She had stopped putting paper together and was looking right at him in a way that made him turn slowly, lifting brown eyes to stare into her green-blue eyes. Her face was so close that he could see a tiny little scar in her eyebrow. Funny how you don't really see things like that unless you're really looking at someone's face. "Now answer the question, do I look like a runner?"

"You look like you could take my neck and break it in half." He was being honest. When you had nothing left to lose, why did it matter? "Oh, and then tie it together in ribbons...hmmm. and maybe throw it out the window. I'm pretty sure, you could kick my ass." He laughed despite his silliness.

She raised an eyebrow. "Ribbons? Any particular colour?"

"A bright pink bow."

The wide grin on her face as she shook her head and chuckled showed no ill will reflected in it. "That's what I like about you. You find humour in everything. Well, Alistair Theirin. I will enjoy working under you." She went back to gathering papers, reaching for folders that were puking their guts out and righting the contents within.

"Enjoy...that's a first." But his hands shook and the colour drained slowly from his face. Had she just said... he rewound the conversation in his head and listened to each word carefully. And because he had just had a conversation with Zevran, he found colour returning to his cheeks at the thought of her working under him. "I'll just go over here..." With his gaze on her, he stood up slowly and backed away. Hunched down like she was, her dark brown hair hung in a braided cord down the curve of that beautiful back and towards - And because he was still thinking that bad thought, Alistair flushed when she spoke -

"If you have enough time to admire my backside, you have enough time to go across the street to get us an icecap from Timmy's. I take mine with milk."

"I wasn't, I mean, I was only-" He was a tad flabbergasted. Did she have eyes in the back of her head? What was it with women? Even Healing Tea had skills like that and she wasn't even in the room with him.

"Hmmm? Are you still here?"

She wasn't even looking at him so it didn't matter that his face had the petulant look of a distressed little boy. He let out a small sigh of resignation. "I'll get the icecaps."

20 minutes later...

Getting off the elevator with foam brown tray in hand and matching twin drinks, Alistair found he had to play the game he hated most. Office hockey. Where people who had been sitting stationary for a good 2 hours suddenly had to get up and get in the way. It reminded him of the times he had to take the subway to school where the jumble mass of people did exactly the same thing. Stumble, cut off and get in the way... what he would give to shove half of them into the train tracks... or out the window. Yet he had to stop himself from throwing evil glares about because the difference between a subway and an office was that you could hide in a crowd on the transit, but not so here. Too many witnesses.

The problem with it being so close to the lunch hour only meant more idiots were getting up from their cubicles. He had to swerve and sharp turn to keep from running into people who couldn't be arse to pay attention. Just take it up at the review when they ask for a raise... lets see how many of them might actually want to be a little bit more perceptive in the future.

He managed to keep the icecaps from spilling over the small tray they given him, and he wondered idly, if she'd mind at all that he'd opted for the same drink she'd wanted - easier and quicker that way. Not to mention he had never tried something like this before and he was curious about drinks she liked.

Ducking through more people who had chosen that precise moment to get in his way, Alistair was surprised to see that the secretarial desk in front of his office was filled with paper. "It's contagious, that's what it is." In his head he could see the wash of paper tumbling in on itself, swallowing Elissa before pouring out the doors in search of new space to devour. Elissa!

Before he could throw the tray to the wind and bolt into his office to see if Elissa was okay, he saw her move forward without injury as she stacked an offending armload of paper onto the desk. With his short hair blown back and his eyes wide, he approached with a barely controlled gasp. "Good god. Is everything okay here?"

"Yes...sir." She cocked a head towards the direction of his office and shrugged. "I needed to make space in there." Had she just called him _sir? _Wow. That kind of was...hot. Although, looking abruptly over his shoulders he realized that was not the reaction she had intended. Term of respect to the boss, in front of the staff. _Damn it man, I need to stop acting like I'm on the prowl._

"Ah. That-"

"I took the liberty of clearing out your daybook so that you could head out early as we discussed." She sounded so professional and sure of herself that it took Alistair a moment to realize he had asked nothing of the sort.

"What really?" He would have looked down at the calender itself, except the bloody thing was hidden under the mountains of folders and files... all that dreaded paper. "Great job T-" He started to call her by her avatar tag and realized how completely careless and stupid that was.

"You can call me Miss Bryce - Elissa is too causal." The smile she gave him was polite and professional as her voice, but it left no room for fraternization. In fact, while she was approachable and friendly, she left no room for the easy-going mood they'd shared earlier. Zevran was at least right in this regard. TQ - no it was better to think of her as Elissa Bryce (it was her real name afterall) was very good at what she did.

"Miss... Bryce. My entire day?" He sounded timid, almost embarrassed in asking for the reconfirmation.

"Yes sir." There was that sir again, this time with no pause. "Just like you asked."

He realized he was just staring at her, standing awkwardly with that tray in his hand, and that people had lowered their voices with curious glances of their own. "Why thank you. I appreciate it."

She came forward to take the drink from the tray and whispered, "I need you out from under foot so I can clean up. I hope that's okay?" Serious and collected, Alistair couldn't help but be impressed by her dedication.

"Of course. Definitely. No problem there at all." He felt her hands for a moment as they touched his, it left a flutter in the pit of his stomach, and then she took her drink and disappeared behind the stacks of paper to retreat into his office.

"...the boss has a new secretary?"

"...how long is she going last..."

"Maybe 30 minutes..."

"She's going through the paper... gotta be at least a day..."

"...wait till she tries to flush that toilet..."

Egad! They were already taking bets?! Alistair turned slowly, but miraculously the damn obstacle course that had thrown itself underfoot was no where to be seen this time. It was like the sudden whoosh of heads had dived instantly for cover upon his turning. Damn, noisy bastards.

"Hey Alistair. You already got her working hard? You sly dog you." Zevran's coy voice and the playful jab of his fist to his friend's shoulder was a little too showy for his liking. Why was he trying to bring this kind of attention out in the open when he knew full well Alistair would try to deny - _oh, you bastard._

"It's what a secretary does, Zev." He started to say, but Elissa had come back out again and was rolling her sea-green eyes at Zevran.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a desk and a job to go back to?" The type of look she gave Zevran left no speculation that friendship or not, work came first. _So that __**is**__ interesting, even though they were friends, she wasn't going to take any crap from him._

"Oh, that's harsh. I thought we'd go out for lunch. Remember, I said it was my treat. There's this great Dim Sum place just down the street- um, hey?" It was almost comical in how Zevran sidestepped and skipped around Elissa who moved like a force of nature. She was the storm and he was the flying branch skirting around the fringes. He skipped over to Alistair and turned to face... air.

"I think she's gone back into my office, Zevran." Alistair sipped his icecap carefully, surprised at the perk of what cold iced cappuccino could do for him. Wasn't like drinking that over-priced stuff at Starbucks, that's for sure. "You know how it is, Zev. All's fair in war..." Was he smirking at Zev? Bragging even? _In your face, point one to ME!_

With a thoughtful roll of his shoulders, Zevran cracked his knuckles before sparing Alistair a mischievous smile."It's love and war, friend. Don't worry, I'm not beaten yet." _Oh great, you know its something bad when he looks at you like he's eaten the canary_. "Maybe I should give her a hand."

"Wait, what?" And for a brief moment the world turned grey, everything slowed down around Alistair and all he could see were those damning piles of paper staring back at him. Had his own ineptitude cost him this chance with Elissa?

And then the slowmo button was unpressed, colour exploded around him and her voice, angry and high pitch billowed out. "What the hell are you doing? Get out of this office right now or I'll tie you in pink ribbons and throw you out the window. I'd do it too. You know I can."

"You're serious! Holy smokes! Let go! Let go! I'm going!"

The little "kitten" that was Zev came bolting out with his tail between his legs, spinning around the desk and down the aisle without turning back.

Alistair couldn't help, but laugh.


	4. Part 4 - Virtual Death

**Part 4 - VIRTUAL DEATH**

by Deadly Off Topic

He was staring at the clock again, watching the little hand twitch as it dipped passed the number 3 then 4... then 5. "Where is she?" Concerned, Alistair continued to watch the clock as it counted seconds, minutes... eons. He shifted again and wondered if something had happened. It wasn't like her to not clock in.

"Half-passed eight, what gives?" Of course, waiting half the day for her to come home after he'd been let out early didn't help matters. It also didn't help matters and it was kind of silly for him to do, but he had gone and bought flowers, in-game roses for her. He'd gone so far as to even plan out in his head how he was going to hand them to her.

First he was going to take her to the Waterfall of Mizu Grotto or WoMG as the gamers knew it as and then dance in the spray of water there. That always got her laughing whenever they met there. Then once she was done laughing, he was going to come splashing out onto shore, pretend that he was looking for a change of clothes and then blamo! Flower petals would fall all over her head and he'd offer a trade where the real present was. That should surprise her! Too bad he wasn't yet at the stage where he could afford to buy a suit and hat for his elven bard. Although wouldn't that just be... embarrassing? You only wore those kind of things in a game like this if you were planning to marry someone else's character.

Marry. Her.

He just blanked for a moment. Alistair couldn't help it. The thought left a rosy feeling in his stomach. Wouldn't that be such a nice thing. A sexy, vibrant woman like her on his arm... Oh god, what was he thinking? They'd only really just met in person today. Think Alistair, think! Would someone that looked like HER ! want you for life?! No, no no! Don't think about this, not yet, not now. It's too soon. "I'll just give the roses and act stupid, that'll be enough for now."

Too bad that reminded him that the person in question who he was all in a tizzy over was still missing.

_Tick tock. _

He couldn't help looking at the clock again before letting out a gruff sigh. He went from being beet red with embarrassment to a flustered orange of annoyance in 2 seconds flat. _You would think she'd log in and tell me she was busy or something. _

"Man, I sound like a possessive jerk. We're not dating, she just works under me... under..." Shaking his head, he tried to stem the dirty thoughts that wanted to run rampant. Who would have ever thought she'd end up looking like that. It just made things so much more - so much more... He knew he should stop thinking about how hot she was, but given that he already liked her and now knowing she looked like this... it was just two birds with one stone. "I would have just been happy with adequate because I don't ask for much, but someone up there in heaven must really like me. Dad... or Mom... or both of you... if she's either or both of your doing... thank you. Thank you very much!"

Greeeeeeoooow.

"Damn." He patted his stomach on reflex and looked apologetic. "I forgot to eat and after I went to the trouble," he glanced over to the left side of his keyboard where a plate of meatloaf seasoned in mushrooms, warm when he had first brought it in a hour ago, sat accusingly cold now. "...of making dinner. I don't know why I don't act like other bachelors and just order out. At least with pizza it's good hot and cold." He looked at the plate and wondered if he should risk rushing upstairs and nuking it as the remonstrating gurgle in his belly groaned even harder. Elissa could log in any second though. "I do detest eating it cold, but I can't take the risk- hmm, what's this.. Oh! Leliana's advertisement from work." He set the plate back down and picked up the flyer for the next cheese and wine tasting event.

It was a little moist during its brief stint as a coaster, but still readable. He hadn't attended the last one that had brought worried emails from her as well as it had been office gossip for some time. It had him wondering if he was going to skip out on the next one. _This is so not like me to miss cheese twice in a row, but Elissa... She's a lot better than cheese._

_Maybe I should have stayed at work and found something else to do, instead of letting her send me home! _And you had to admit that it took skill and a certain amount of guts to send your own boss home without worrying about being fired on your first day at work. He had to give her that. Elissa had spunk. "And if I said that to Zev, he'd probably say something crass to that. Pah. He's just jealous. Ha, for once something I can lord over him."

Thinking for a moment on his friend, reminded him that Zev hadn't logged in either. That didn't make sense. Where could he be? There had been talk that he had a hot date tonight, but given how eager he had been in wanting to spend time with Elissa... Could he - no. Zev was not with Elissa. Right...Right!?

So then, where was he? Where was she?

Alistair blew air through his teeth, rolled brown eyes at the ceiling before glancing down at the chat flowing on the screen. He needed to get his mind off Elissa and Zevran, maybe if he started to - _gasp _- read Guild chat it might help. _And pigs could fly._ It was worth a shot. Of course, he'd joined a guild she and the others were in and despite the inane chatter from random people filtering here and there, when he played with Elissa, he could easily avoid it. She'd taught him to shut off chats in general and while she'd advocate it to others, she never actually shut off chats for herself. He'd asked once about that and her reply had surprised him. _I rather know and be offended then not know and be ignorant. Besides, it's a riot to see their responses when they think you're ignoring them._

Which was probably one of the reasons why the guild was currently considering giving her officer status. He'd mention it to her before that they were talking about promoting her and while she'd blown it off, claiming it was a lot of work she wouldn't get paid for, that never stopped her from mediating between players. She was a natural born leader. People listened when she talked and paid attention. A lot more then when he talked in guild. Alistair's face grimaced as he recalled how he was practically shunned. If it hadn't been for her company, he would have guild quit a long time ago. As if anyone there would miss him, yeah right.

Still officer status was a good sign that people liked her, but considering how much time it did take up, Alistair agreed that it was better that she did not take the job. He'd rather she spend that time with him than with some random idiot who would only cost her a headache and most likely just turn around and offend again. People were idiots in life and in game and he didn't want them getting in between him and her.

Flushing at the thought, he knew he was starting to want a lot more than just being Elissa's friend. He could almost understand why SpyderQueen hated him so much. In her opinion, an up and coming lady like Elissa didn't need a guy like him - or more importantly ANY guy - to fawn all over her. (And to be fair, Alistair was beginning to do just that. He looked at his in game inventory to where the roses were burning a hole in his pocket.)

In fact, SpyderQueen's opinions seldom retained were wildly known and ignored. Not just by him, but by the guild at large. Not a lot of people liked a self-righteous lady who snubbed her nose down at you as if you were scum. A beautiful, smart lady on the other hand who was nice and listened... everyone loved. And Elissa was a listener and she was definitely a smart and savvy lady.

He was halfway to demeaning himself with saying, "Not like me," but Alistair stopped himself and in so doing he also surprised himself. "I am pretty smart... if I wasn't I wouldn't be where I am today." Keeping his father's company afloat despite the numerous times his brother tried to sink it took effort and brains.

Although he had to admit that it had been Elissa's comforting words that had him taking more stock of himself. He hadn't exactly told her where he worked or what he did and he often kept it generalized, more out of a sense of fear if she discovered who he was related to, but her words of praise did wonders for his ego. Hearing someone believe in him, especially someone like her, left him feeling better and happier. That wasn't something he could often say about anyone else.

Her praise though made it easier, perhaps all to easy, for Alistair to talk with her into the wee hours of the nights where sometimes - you couldn't help it - you got to talking about things that were important to you - that were private and personal. There were moments that Elissa spoke of her family and the fondness in her voice had Alistair dreamily leaning back in his chair wishing he'd been part of such a family. She talked about her brother's engagement to his highschool sweetheart as well as his intention to go back to university to finish off his law degree. Why he had stopped, Elissa had never said. It was, Alistair realized, swiftly deflected, but what she did say was that he had taken stock of his priorities and thought it was the right thing to do.

In turn Alistair spoke of growing up with his single mother who died while he was still in highschool as well as his early struggles with his grades and trying to get into an affordable college. _Believe me,_ he had told her,_ I thought getting the grades were the hard part, but almost every college I applied to had such high tuition fees and heavy course loads. Getting a loan and being able to pay it off was even worse - part time jobs and their pittance of a salary were an insult, but what could you do when no one wanted to take a chance on you?_

_Really? I would have thought having such a studious and hard working person like you around would have been worth more than the lazy-good for nothings that sit on their asses and fob off their work onto others._

He had laughed at that and without realizing it, had gone on to talk about his own brother and about how... eccentric he could be. Elissa was pretty good about reading his tone through the Brag© headset and often time she'd piece something together he hadn't realized he said. She knew instantly that he had a bad day, by how tired he sounded. Which was how she found out about the incident about Cailin, no underwear, and the stewardesses. Yes, plural.

"_Not just one, eh?"_ While she did laugh, there had been a curtness to the words. Alistair knew that she held no respect for a man who could not respect himself or the woman he was with. _"I could only wonder what his girlfriend thinks."_

Alistair had wanted to say that Cailin had no girlfriend, but he remembered his last assistant and could only shake his head. Office rumor was rife that he was planning to marry that girl, but after that last escapade, he wondered how Cailin could ever manage to keep her.

"How many stories have I told her, anyway? Too many." He mused as he skipped over the chat running rampant on the screen. Someone was bitching about not getting their drop because of a loot ninja. Selfish people. _Stop stealing things because then we have to deal with other people complaining about them. As if we could fix it... here I am online, how do I magically wave my wand to fix this, ha!_

Shaking his head, he leaned back in his chair and watch SpyderQueen ream out the offending individual... only to be insulted back by the rest of the guild. Serves her right. While you're suppose to show support to your fellow guildmate, you don't actually tell them they are being stupid and should know better. "Sad thing is, she's completely right and I really hate to agree with her... but you don't type it out. You _think _it like anyone else does."

HeavenlyTea had typed something to calm the waters and yes, there it was -

_SPYDERQUEEN HAS LEFT THE GUILD!_

"I don't know why she bothers, she'll get a re-invite back in once Elissa gets on. They listen to her... plus who wants to lose the best raid leader of all time." Thinking about how those two girls were even friends just boggled the mind. What gave? She was such a grouchy sourpuss and Elissa was... well, he was bias. Elissa was perfect. How anyone could be friends with a bitch like SpyderQueen? It made no sense at all.

"Well, any second, she'll log in and fix this right? Any second now..." But it was getting closer to 9:00 p.m. and there was still no sign of her. She was lucky this wasn't a raiding night or she might get into trouble with the guild leader. Still, Alistair was starting to get worried again. This was not like her at all. Where could she be?

"Think I should brave the waters to ask Bitchface McCrabby?" He thought about it for a good 5 minutes and even had something typed out to send to her when his screen went black and the ghost image of _you have been slain by SpyderQueen - _appeared.

"Oh son of b-!"


	5. Part 5 - Office Shuffle

**MISDIRECTION**

By Deadly Off Topic

**PART 5 OFFICE SHUFFLE**

Between Elissa not logging in and SpyderQueen camping Alistair's corpse the entire night, Alistair found himself in a terrible state. At least he was alone on the long elevator ride up to the 30th floor where his office was located.

What went wrong, though? He had waited for her all day and night, consumed with dark, overwhelming thoughts and all he had to show for it was tired and abused eyes. (And a dead bard with repair costs up the wahoo. -_-+) Absently he wiped the crap from his eyes as he leaned against the elevator's door. _Just where the hell could she have been? _

What could be so important that she hadn't bothered to log on and check in with him. What could she be doing!? Who was she with!? WAS IT ZEV?! _Cut it out. I'm gonna sound like some psycho stalker. _But that entire ride to his office with nothing more than his thoughts for company and the glare of the polished metal door staring back did nothing to lift Alistair's poor mood. She hadn't even logged in to tell him why she'd been offline. _Relax_, he tried again as he watched the floor numbers light up. _She probably has a good reason. Maybe she worked through the night. Bah, no one is that eager to do a good job first day... not even me. They both must have been on date together._

He nearly snarled his next sigh. No! That better not have happened! If there was anyone Elissa should be spending time with it was him!

Possessive thoughts were unusual for him since Alistair was usually so easy going, but the enormity of that thought shocked him. It opened a door he hadn't really thought was there. He liked her a lot, yes. He was attracted to her voice... of course. The fact that he wanted her in his arms... had not been so apparent until he met her. "Did I realize how much?" His tired distorted reflection on the elevator wall seemed to wink back at him and Alistair realized that somewhere deep down, he had known that he had wanted her, but just like everything else in his life he didn't want to place hope into something that could easily slip away from him. ... be taken away.

_God, no, this is bad. I want her. I __**really**__ want her._ _If have to compete with Zev-_

Bing!

The elevator door chimes caught him off guard forcing Alistair quickly to squint at his reflection in a feeble attempt to look as if he hadn't been brooding up a storm. When the doors did open, he first stuck out his suitcase, then the arm with the iced cappuccino before sticking his head out with the most innocent of smiles. This meant looking like a little kid who got his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Hello... Hi... Morning... hey there." He nodded to the various men and women who occupied the rectangle of cubicles, noting that most of them didn't even notice his guilty look. Most, if not all, looked a touch worried. _Wonder what's up? Oh don't tell me that Cailin did something stupid again. And by stupid I mean wake up naked in the boardroom with someone from accounting, or human resources or whatever board I have that has a hot, young, up and coming girl in it. _The first time had been funny, but the next 20 times... not so much.

_I wonder what he did..._

When he reached his secretary's desk, he was pleasantly surprised to see that it was sparkling clean and nicely organized. Could this be the problem that had caused all those worried looks from his staff? From what he could see, the folders were all organized, the pens stacked in their penholders and paper - well, lets just say it was cropped, smoothed and stacked in neat little piles with clips...the way it was meant to be. Not towering overhead about to tsunami on the least unsuspecting victim.

_Well, I know she was here. There's her bag under the chair. At least she-_

He had walked into his office and then walked back out as if it was a revolving door. He wore a rather startled and confused look on his face. Alistair stopped, looked at her desk, and noting nothing wrong about it he walked back into his office again. It was on the third round out when he blurted, "Is this really my office?"

A passing employee with dark hair and red rimmed glasses looked up at him in nervous surprise. "Of course sir. Is something wrong?"

"Wrong? Oh no, there's nothing wrong at all." He went back in and then came out again just as quickly. The look on his face bordering on complete shock. "It's just that... It's bloody clean! It's shiny and it sparkles... I can see my reflection on my own desk. Are you sure that's my office?!"

Other employees had gotten up to have a look and there were echoing whistles confirming Alistair's reaction. He wondered if their worried looks from before had been related to this and if so, why were surprised now?

One employee even went so far as to say, "Hey, I didn't know you had a coffee table in there."

"I didn't either and I've been in this office for years..." Alistair had set his suitcase down on the floor, but was still holding his iced cappuccino, unsure of where he could actually put it. The options were limitless. "Woah, I have extra chairs and a sofa." With the place being spic and span clean, he found having all this new space disorientating. What was he suppose to do with it all?

Brown hair tied in a bun passed his line of vision as the words: "What are we looking at?" were uttered with a touch of concern.

Elissa!

"The boss' office. It's... it's organized."

"It's clean-"

"Is the devil skating to work today?"

"Holy crap."

"Where'd the paper go? Was there a fire?"

He'd recognized her voice immediately, but it took the rest of them a moment before they staggered backwards, looking embarrassed and self-conscious. He watched them pool together in front of the cubicles as if they were soldiers forming up for their commander. Wow! Too bad that never happened for him.

"Of course it's cleaned. Took me most of the night too as it was such a mess. Which by the way," and she passed a sheet of printed paper to Alistair, "I did up an account for you. That's my over time bill."

"Why yes... I um... woah, you worked until 1:30 a.m.?" He just stared at the paper as if it were some holy relic being handed to him. So that's where she'd been?! He didn't get the feeling of angels singing until the music in his ears faded away, but the relief of it all had him almost sagging. There had been no date with Zevran and in fact she had been in HIS office all that time doing work for HIM! The flood of relief intermingled suddenly with the acute realization of how incredibly jealous and annoyed he had been earlier. He felt so entirely stupid and guilty now. Could she see the rosy red glow of embarrassment on his face? Did she realize how unworthy he really was of her company? How could he have been so stupid to think she'd be on a date with Zev?

Alistair wondered if he should say something, but Elissa had already turned to the gathered crowd and was waving her hands at them. Brightly polished chestnut nails shone in the office work light. "My name's Elissa Bryce and I'm Mr. Theirin's new assistant. I'm pleased to meet you all." She gave them some time to answer back before she bowed her head politely and added, "I look forward to working with everyone here, but for now lets get back to work. There's nothing more to see here."

"Definitely no paper, that's for sure," and that comment brought laugher from those gathered around.

"Except for what I found in the toilet," her dead pan delivery of that joke was met with silence - awkward and strange - until she smiled and that just brought the whole floor into a guffawing titter. For someone who had never been there for the initial joke of it all, they had accepted her as if she had. That in itself was amazing, but the more Alistair watched, the more flabbergasted he became. People were moving in and introducing themselves to her and just as she was in the guild, she greeted them with such a friendly, effortless manner that they all instantly liked her. Alistair found himself leaning against her desk and just watching the exchange with unabashed admiration. If he could only be as good with people as she was.

The more he watched her, the more Alistair found himself staring intently at Elissa. She had such energetic sea green eyes and that warm, deliberate smile of hers that came slipping out as she spoke could leave a fellow feeling all warm inside. Still, something inside him told him to try to look away. _But she's beautiful...but you are staring... she's so sweet though...keep in mind, I'm really staring at her...but she's so... do you want them to see you staring at her like a pig in heat?! _The realization of this caused Alistair's face to reddened even further. He'd been so fixated on her that it would have been obvious to anyone watching that he didn't just like her, he really _liked_ her.

Had anyone else noticed?! A quick look around told him they were still focussed on her. Good, good. Last thing he needed was the staff getting the wrong idea about how Elissa got this job. _She didn't need that kind of office gossip bullshit on day one._

"Okay, now guys? Guys?" She clapped her hands for attention. "Lets get back to work now before our boss thinks "what do I pay you people for"..." There were laughs and someone's voice saying:

"Wait, we get paid?!"

"Funny, funny. For now, lets-"

But Elissa was unable to finish her sentence as a young woman, in a beautiful green and classy business suit, came bolting out of the elevator towards her. "Am I late?! I want to meet the new secretary- I mean assistant - too! Where is she?" She was met with a bunch of hands all pointing to Elissa. "O. M. G. So there you are. You! Young lady, are the talk of the entire building."

"I am?" Elissa stood her ground as this freak energy storm in the shape of a woman came smashing into her. Oh wow. Alistair didn't think most girls played tackle sports, but then again most girls weren't like her. Elissa took the hit as if it were nothing.

"But of course. Everyone is talking about you-"

"I've only started work today." Elissa said the words evenly, neglecting to mention the big job she had done last night at the office. Alistair suddenly wondered how much sleep she had gotten. By the look of her, she looked wide-eyed, alert and definitely NOT tired at all. He, on the other hand, looked liked a hairball the cat just threw up. "How does news travel that fast?"

"Oh, but it does. It's 20 minutes passed 9:00 and you're still here... still working for this guy. That's a big feat for Alistair, you know. And look at you, you look amazing! Who do you go to for your dress. I love it. Oh, where are my manners! I'm Leliana, but you can call me Lel if you want. Or whatever," she laughed as she took a breath of air.

"You should slow down or you'll choke talking that fast." Elissa's way of saying that was open and warm and on a lesser person that would have offended Leliana, but instead all it did was bring an embarrassed smile to the woman's face.

"I just didn't want to forget anything. Sorry, I can't help it, I'm just-" Nervously Leliana ran a hand through her red hair and tugged on the end. A sure sign that Elissa had caught her off guard.

And as if to press the advantage, Elissa fixed the most pleasant of smiles on her which instantly brought a flush to Leliana's cheeks. "We should have coffee some time. Zev told me you plan all the events here and I'd loved to get involved in some."

"A coffee date would be awesome! But you know Zev? I'd of thought Alistair's would have told you everything about what I do here." Leliana had a hand on her chest as if she were surprised by the suggestion. Surprised or pleased? Alistair wasn't sure he liked the look Lel was giving Elissa suddenly. They'd only just met, but could Lel - no, he was mistaken. Had to be. They were both girls... But then again, Zev was a guy and he liked-

"She just started to work here. I haven't had the pleasure yet." He hadn't meant to intrude on their conversation, but he didn't like where it suddenly had led down into. Things were already bad enough with Zevran in the picture, he didn't need Lel in it too. "And as you said, it's after 9:00, I'd like to talk to my assistant at some point." Woah. He sounded so firm. He hadn't meant to sound so... cold?

"Oh Alistair. Don't be such a sourpuss. I can tell her everything she needs to know." Leliana drifted towards him and smiled innocently. The same innocent look she gave when there was news no one wanted to him that involved Cailin and other girls.

That wasn't going to work this time. He set his drink down on Elissa's desk and crossed his arms. "Yeah? And why do I get the bad feeling you're going to talk about me the entire time? And not in a good way either."

Leliana gave a foolish smile and reached out to fix his tie. He had been in a rush this morning and had left it twisted and loopy. "Can I help it if a guy like you is so easy to talk about?"

"A guy like me? Sheesh, Lel." But he lowered his guard and let out a relenting sigh. It was a hard thing to be angry with Leliana. The girl was sweet and gentle like a bunny. No one stayed mad at a bunny for long. "You make me sound like I need a caretaker?"

He hadn't even glanced over to where Elissa was standing, but he heard her cough discreetly the moment Leliana had come too close to him. He glanced up and saw turbulence in those sea green eyes. A swift storm that put itself out as soon as she realized he was looking at her. What was that about? "Sir, your office has space if the two of you want to go inside and talk."

Wow. She sounded almost as cold as he had earlier. "My office?" Glancing around he abruptly realized that everyone had been watching the interchange between Elissa, Lel and him for some time. Oh man.

"But there's no point in that. He knows everyone here." Leliana, oblivious to the watchers, drifted back towards Elissa like a buoy caught by a wave at sea. "Besides, he's boring and _safe_. What could I tell him that he doesn't already know?" She was giggling as she said it and Alistair, who was boiling with embarrassment out of his ears, could only gasp:

"I'm boring and safe?!" Some part of him knew she was joking around with him and Elissa and another part knew they had an audience and he had to watch what he said, but then there was that last part that wanted to seem like a dashing, daring do figure to a girl he had a very serious crush on. That last part was visibly horrified. "That's a mean thing to say to someone."

"Ha, ha, ha, Alistair, calm down, sweetie. I'm just having a bit of fun." Her warm, winning smile was hard for anyone to resist, but he gave it a go by taking a deep breath and heaving his chest. "Oh come on. You're... safe. A good guy. You know. Someone anyone can talk to."

There it was, sucker-punched in the gut. He let out a breath: slow and painful. "A nice guy?"

"Yeah."

He didn't know why that made him furious. No check that, he did KNOW why. _Nice guys finished last_. They always did. Just look at that asshole he called a brother. He wasn't nice. Okay, maybe he was nice to a lot of people, the way a rich person could be nice to their servants, but he just was not that kind of _nice_. "Look, I'm not-"

"Hey guys. I heard about the clean office. I'm gonna need shades for the shine in there. Very ...non-papery." Zevran, who had appeared out of no where and had somehow managed to get by everyone to stand by Alistair's open door, was grinning. He wore a sharp beige suit and his slicked back hair shone in the light. "'lissa, good work. You deserve lunch. I know this place-"

_DAMN IT! Why was he here?! And why is Elissa smiling like she is about to eat a mouse? That's a playful smile and ...woah, totally, the way she's crossed her arms, I can see..._

"I promised I'd have coffee with 'Ana at lunch. It'll have to be another time Zev."

"Ana?" That was from both him and Zevran and to be fair, they both raised an eyebrow at the same time.

"Wait, that me? Yes, yes that is me." Leliana was smiling at them as if she'd won the contest. "Yay! I got a coffee date with the boss's new assistant! Woohoo!"

_A WHAT?! Bloody hell!_

That was it. THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW! "Don't you all have places to be?" Alistair, exasperated beyond belief, gestured to Zevran, Leliana and the entire staff who had gathered around watching the whole show. "I'm going into my office and I expect to see MY assistant in there in the next 5 minutes. If no one is back to work soon, I'm gonna take heads." He disappeared behind his door with a bam and the last thing he heard was Zevran saying,

"I don't know why he's always grumpy in the mornings."


End file.
